You want you and your boyfriend to get back together. Do you feel lost without him? Are you feeling lonely now that he is gone? Are you desperate to get him back? If you want you and your boyfriend to get back together then you may need to change the way you approach him and the situation. If things went very fast and marriage seemed like a sure thing, he may have gotten scared off.
It could very well be that he felt smothered and didn't have enough space or didn't feel like he was in control, of his future. It could also be that you are pressuring him too much now and all he wants is to be away from you. Hopefully this is the case but if you push too much it very well could be. If what you want is you and your boyfriend get back together you have to be aware of this.
Your boyfriend may be like many males and thrive on being independent. They need their space from time to time. While the idea of marriage and commitment may have seemed appealing to them for a moment, reality could have set in and now they are feeling trapped. Males very often need to feel in charge. They need to feel in charge of not only themselves, but of situations.
If things start getting fast they don't feel so in control anymore. Once marriage or long term commitment starts getting discussed it is easy to feel that you are getting sucked into something if you don't feel ready. If they feel they aren't ready, they most likely aren't. If they feel like they are getting pushed down a road they don't think they want to go yet, they may push themselves away.
If he has pushed himself away and you really want you and your boyfriend get back together you are likely going to have to be secretive and sensitive about it. You will have to decide that you don't want to force him down the road. You want him to just walk with you and let him feel he is taking the lead. He needs to feel like he is choosing this direction.
Since there is no direction right now and you are dealing with a break up, now is actually a good time to get started back down that path. He may feel free and clear of you and to an extent very well may be. If he has any desire to talk with you and you are still on a friendly basis, just be available, but not too available. If he is going to call you, make it seem like you are hard to get on the phone. If he wants to make some plans with you, turn him down at first but ask for a rain check. The goal is to make him seem like he is pursuing you. Let him be in the hunt.
Also let him have something to hunt for. Sometimes the things most desired are the things that are hard to get. Those will also be the things that makes them more likely to go in for the kill which is what you want him to do. You want him to commit and if you make yourself someone worth hunting and let yourself be hunted and not necessarily caught, you may see you and your boyfriend get back together.
For more advice check out T. Dub Jackson's e-book "The magic of Making Up".
Tuesday 23 June 2009
Im Still In Love With My Ex
If you find yourself saying, “I'm still in love with my ex” you aren't alone. There are many who find themselves at the end of a long term romance or marriage still clinging to hope that they might bring it back. Just because it seems like things are darkest and that there is no hope doesn't mean that there isn't any. There is still a chance that what you had can come back even stronger. When you are saying “I'm still in love with my ex” and you want to get that love back it is going to have to come back stronger if it is going to last.
For those of you saying, “I'm still in love with my ex” you may have a desire to turn back the clock and bring back what was lost. Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it and have the same results.
Look carefully at the mistakes that was made in the past and find out not only why they were made, but why they were able to have the impact on your relationship they did. You need to be able to make a stronger foundation than you had before. You are going to have to try and start from ground zero. To get back together with the one you love, you are going to have to try and start all over again. Just find a way to do it better. Tell yourself, "I'm still in love with my ex, but I want it to be better than before."
Try re-establishing a friendship. Take it slow. If your ex feels like you are trying to make things like they were, they may be resistant to it. Don't push things, just let things take their course. If the two of you are supposed to be together, it will happen. Just let it happen naturally.
Think positively about it. Don't let your ex see you crying or depressed about it. You want to try and make it look like you are a joy to come back to. If your ex sees that you are walking around depressed, they may decide that they don't want to have that in their lives. If they see that for you life has gone on and you are happy they may want to join you in your happiness.
Try to think of what type of person you would like to be with. Do you think that they would want to be with that type of person as well? People want to be with happy people who can brighten their day and make them smile. People want to be with someone who makes them feel that they have a purpose and that they aren't alone. Try to be someone that makes someone feel like that. Make your ex feel special by just being an encouraging friend.
If you make yourself valuable to your ex and are able to make them feel valuable you may have a chance to bring back lost love. You may also be making a foundation that will last forever. It is a good thing to say “I'm still in love with my ex.” It is an even better thing to try and make the foundation of that love stronger.
For those of you saying, “I'm still in love with my ex” you may have a desire to turn back the clock and bring back what was lost. Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it and have the same results.
Look carefully at the mistakes that was made in the past and find out not only why they were made, but why they were able to have the impact on your relationship they did. You need to be able to make a stronger foundation than you had before. You are going to have to try and start from ground zero. To get back together with the one you love, you are going to have to try and start all over again. Just find a way to do it better. Tell yourself, "I'm still in love with my ex, but I want it to be better than before."
Try re-establishing a friendship. Take it slow. If your ex feels like you are trying to make things like they were, they may be resistant to it. Don't push things, just let things take their course. If the two of you are supposed to be together, it will happen. Just let it happen naturally.
Think positively about it. Don't let your ex see you crying or depressed about it. You want to try and make it look like you are a joy to come back to. If your ex sees that you are walking around depressed, they may decide that they don't want to have that in their lives. If they see that for you life has gone on and you are happy they may want to join you in your happiness.
Try to think of what type of person you would like to be with. Do you think that they would want to be with that type of person as well? People want to be with happy people who can brighten their day and make them smile. People want to be with someone who makes them feel that they have a purpose and that they aren't alone. Try to be someone that makes someone feel like that. Make your ex feel special by just being an encouraging friend.
If you make yourself valuable to your ex and are able to make them feel valuable you may have a chance to bring back lost love. You may also be making a foundation that will last forever. It is a good thing to say “I'm still in love with my ex.” It is an even better thing to try and make the foundation of that love stronger.
How To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend When All Looks Lost
When all looks lost and you're trying to figure out how to get back with your ex boyfriend, one of the things you need to hold onto is that 95% of all relationships that look as if they're well and truly over, need not be. There is always hope, all it takes is for at least one person wanting to save the relationship and it can be saved.
The first key to figuring out how to get back with your ex is to leave your ex alone for at least a month - if at all possible longer than a month will work even better. So break all contact with them and give your ex plenty of time to think things through.
Often times in the heat of the breakup things get said and positions get taken that given time, are soon relinquished as reasoning takes over. So if you want to get to the heart of how to get back with your ex then seriously, give yourself and your ex some time.
If you don't allow for this space to think and you continue trying to push the issue to get your ex back before the time is right, then what will happen is that the more you push, the harder your ex will push back. Remember, your ex has walked out on the relationship and clearly demonstrated that they need time to think and be left alone, give them that time.
If you're worried that all looks lost because your ex is dating someone else, then you need to remember and hold onto the fact that a lot of rebound relationships just don't last. Chances are your ex is dating that person as a way to convince themselves that their relationship with you is really over. However, just because they're trying to convince themselves their relationship with you is over for good. Guess what? It doesn't mean that it is.
It is a statistical fact that rebound relationships are fraught with difficulties and very rarely work because the person on the rebound is still emotionally connected to their ex. So don't waste a whole lot of time worrying about someone your ex is currently dating.
The truth is getting your ex back is more about the two of you than anyone else, so make sure that you keep on top of your appearance, you're not doing anything to alienate your ex and that you're appearing in control and pretty soon you will have stopped wondering how to get your ex back, because they'll be back with you.
The first key to figuring out how to get back with your ex is to leave your ex alone for at least a month - if at all possible longer than a month will work even better. So break all contact with them and give your ex plenty of time to think things through.
Often times in the heat of the breakup things get said and positions get taken that given time, are soon relinquished as reasoning takes over. So if you want to get to the heart of how to get back with your ex then seriously, give yourself and your ex some time.
If you don't allow for this space to think and you continue trying to push the issue to get your ex back before the time is right, then what will happen is that the more you push, the harder your ex will push back. Remember, your ex has walked out on the relationship and clearly demonstrated that they need time to think and be left alone, give them that time.
If you're worried that all looks lost because your ex is dating someone else, then you need to remember and hold onto the fact that a lot of rebound relationships just don't last. Chances are your ex is dating that person as a way to convince themselves that their relationship with you is really over. However, just because they're trying to convince themselves their relationship with you is over for good. Guess what? It doesn't mean that it is.
It is a statistical fact that rebound relationships are fraught with difficulties and very rarely work because the person on the rebound is still emotionally connected to their ex. So don't waste a whole lot of time worrying about someone your ex is currently dating.
The truth is getting your ex back is more about the two of you than anyone else, so make sure that you keep on top of your appearance, you're not doing anything to alienate your ex and that you're appearing in control and pretty soon you will have stopped wondering how to get your ex back, because they'll be back with you.
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